Dancing to the music.

I can't believe it was 80 degrees today. Hopefully it means that summer is right around the corner because I am looking forward to the summer. I hate the cold and winter blahs. When it is summer time I have fun traveling, running with my friends, BBQ parties, swimming, and just having a great time.

I have many fond memories of previous summers. Not a single bad summer that I can recall, well with the exception of my Ex-husband. Met him one ill-fated summer after too many Long Island Iced Teas. Six if my blurry recollection is right along with several Kamikaze shooters. I figure I was brain damaged from that stuff and that is why I had a shotgun wedding. To this day I will not drink a Long Island Iced Tea. Never had a problem with Kamikaze shooters and still love them now.

Back in the old days I spent many summers on the beach having fun and nights at the base club dancing the night away. I don't know if I am a good or bad dancer. I don't care anyway. I love to dance. I may need a bit of liquid courage at times to start but then I am fine after that. We would spend hours dancing to the beat of 70's and 80's music. To this day I just want to boogie when a favorite song from the old days plays on the radio.

When I hear a song from the old days it would trigger a memory. A song that would remind me of a night on the beach dancing with a huge bonfire or one that brings me back to my first rock concert and dancing with the crush of bodies around me. Some of the songs that bring up old memories are:


"Shout" from Animal House
"I feel for you" Chaka Khan
"Funky Town" Lipps, Inc.
"Open Arms" Journey
"Everybody have fun tonight" Wang Chung
"Love Shack" B52
"YMCA" Village People

One day a song that I hadn't heard in ages came on and I was going nuts. I was rocking away and dancing as much as I could while driving. Max was in the car with me and he was looking at me like I had lost my mind. I told him "You know how I hate rap. Well your Mama used to listen to the grandaddy of rap." He didn't believe me until he saw some show on MTV and they listed the group as one of the original rap bands. It was Whodini and the song "Friends". He actually likes that song and has it on his Ipod.

Another song that goes waaaaayyyyy back is from when I was in middle school. Every morning our bus driver would play this song on the way to the school after the last stop. It was Queen's song "We will rock you." That bus was rockin' with all of us kids stomping our feet and clapping to the song. Our bus driver never had a bit of trouble from any of us because she threatend that if we misbehaved she wouldn't play the song. Smart Gal.



What are your favorite songs that you just gotta boogie to whenever you hear it?

Life and death.

A blogger recently wrote about encountering sadness working in the field of EMS and firefighting. I have encountered it during my stint as an EMT and also at times at the hospital. A lot of people that are not in the field do not understand how we are able to do the job and not let it affect us. Well we do it because the job needs to be done and also because over time we are able to compartmentalize it and go on to the next call or job. If not we would all go nuts.

The people that work in this field learn on the job how to deal with their emotions and lock them away while doing their job. The ones that can't don't last for long. Later on we may think about it and wonder if we could have done anything differently. And once in a while there is a call that stays with us and the memories about it pop up from time to time.

Most of the ones that are successful in doing this survive by finding ways to deal with their emotions and are able to lead normal lives. Some of the ways that we are able to do that is by dark humor, drinking, blogging, or talking with our buddies. A firefighter friend of mine is a close friend and we would talk about these things. He is able to talk about his feelings honestly, not feel judged by me, and knows that I understand where he is coming from. He is a typical male firefighter with a huge ego and feels that to verbalize his feelings would make him look weak in front of his crew members. With me he is able to let his guard down and open up and some may look at it as cheap therapy.

Once a non EMS person remarked to me how she thought we were emotionless robots and that was the only reason we are able to do the job. I told her that we all have feelings and have had to learn to deal with the stuff we see. If we don't then we burn out or go batty. I told her about the calls that have stayed with me and how I dealt with it. She had a glimmer about what we deal with but still didn't understand it totally. I guess you have to live the life to be able to understand it.

The most haunting thing that I know every EMS person has dealt with is what my fellow blogger calls "The Howl". He hit it on the nail with that. It is the cry from family members when they are told the patient didn't make it. It hits you deep in your core and it echos in your mind. I may not remember details about those cases but I will forever remember "The Howl".

So while we all may be successful in hiding our emotions and feelings we are still human. We all need someone to bare our souls to once in a while.

Speechless then stuttering! God Help Me!

I have finally finished another week of madness at the hospital. Now for some much needed days off. Work was ugly as usual but one thing happened the other day that had me speechless, then stuttering, and then suffering a hot flash!

I got a call about 30 min. before the end of my shift from a dept. The guy said that one of the machines was broken and if I could come up and fix it. I said sure and hoped it would be an easy fix so I could go home and crash.

I go up to the 3rd floor and the dept. door is locked because they haven't opened for the day. Here is a recap of what happened.

Knock-Knock

Door opens and a Supercalifragayummyliscious hunk is standing there. Now think Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney, Richard Gere, or Benjamin Bratt gorgeous.

My brain and body: OH....MY....GOD...!!!! GULP!!!!!!! Say something you idiot!

Me "Ah, Hi, ah, I talked to you on the phone ah, about the machine."

Guy "Oh yeah, come on in. It doesn't want to do anything."

My Brain: Come on, just do your thing and get outta here. Don't look at him or your gonna blush or do something stupid.

"Ummm. Ok, No problem. Uh, Just give me a minute and I will get it running for you."

"Thanks"

I walk into a locked room, similar to a janitors closet, where the machine is.

What is he doing. Oh, great. He is going to come in here while I am trying to fix this thing. Ok, just calm down and don't look at him.

"What is wrong?"

HUH!!!!!!!! What did I just do!!!!! Oh, he is talking about the machine dumbass.

"Oh, ah the hard drive is ummmm probably stuck. It does that some times."

What is he doing now. He is standing right next to me. Great!!!!! Just ignore him. Geeeze, he smells nice. Wonder what he is wearing. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, just ignore him.

"What do you have to do to fix it"

Well if you leave it would make it easier for me to concentrate and fix this dang thing much quicker.

"I just have to uh reboot the computer and it will get running again. It's ummm a pretty simple fix."

Dang is it hot in here?????? Why does he have to stand right next to me, watching everything I do over my shoulder. I wish he would move over or even better leave. Doesn't he have anyting better to do.  Come on, hurry up you stupid machine. I need to get outta here before I do something stupid!

"Ok, all done. Have a great day!"

"Thanks."


I get outta there as quick as I can and am just razzing myself about how I always freeze up and get super shy around gorgeous guys. Here I have outgrown my shyness for the most part but this I can't get over. I felt like a teenager again and I didn't like that one bit.