Thursday, September 29, 2011

New Patient Questionnaire.

Recently I was filling out a questionnaire at a new doctors office. After the paperwork was done I was sitting there nervous and trying to think of things to distract myself. While doing this I started thinking about the funny and weird questions that I have come across over the years.

How many glasses of alcohol do you drink a week? My answer one time had a doctor of mine laughing a few years back because I told him it depends on how big the the glasses were.

What sort of recreational activities do you participate in? Uh what do you consider recreational activities? Boating, Skiing, Reading, Sex?

Do you exercise regularly? Does anyone ever answer this honestly? What exactly is considered regularly?

Do you participate in risky behavior? Uh, you gotta give me the definition on this question buddy.

How many body piercing/tattoo's do you have? For some people this would take a while to fill out.

Have you ever been depressed? I think everyone has been depressed at least once in their lifetime but most would never admit to it.

What is your eating habit? How do you really answer this one? I eat food! I eat when I am hungry!

What is your relationship like? Huh! Relationship like with who? My ex? Sucks. My family? Great. My kids? Fantastic. My boyfriend? Got none!

Describe your family history. This is funny because I was knew they were talking about medical history and I was thinking just read someone's blog.

Why are you here today? This question on the paperwork always has a teeny tiny box and I can tell you that most people don't have enough room to put everything on it. I left mine blank for this visit.

My most favorite and the best one of them all.

How many sex partners have you had in your lifetime? Hahahaha Hehehehe Hohohoho Oh Boy. I had to sit in the waiting room trying hard not to laugh out loud but I was grinning like crazy. For some people I know this would be an easy answer. For some this one would take a while to figure out the number to put in the box.

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